If you’ve been thinking about asking your mom for therapy, we feel you. It’s a big step—and it’s completely okay to feel nervous. Therapy can be an excellent way to work through your thoughts and feelings, but starting the conversation with your parent might feel awkward or even scary.
Good news: you’re not alone. Many teens and preteens feel unsure about how to bring up going to therapy with their parents. In this guide, we’ll walk you through how to talk to your mom (or another loved one) about why you want therapy, what to say, and how to handle the conversation if it doesn’t go as planned.
Our team of therapists at Attuned Therapy + Wellness support families with preteens and teens in Kincardine, Ontario as well as online throughout Ontario, Canada. If you are seeking support for yourself, it is important to note that the age to which you can make your own decisions to attend therapy without your parents consent is not set in stone. While it is always best if parents are involved and it may be extremely difficult to attend therapy without a parent’s support for transportation and for payment/insurance coverage, I do want to let anyone searching “How do I ask my mom for therapy” know that they may actually be able to decide to attend therapy themselves if they have the ability to understand what therapy is, how it can help them and to consent to therapy treatment. This is helpful to know because teens can often struggle with feeling controlled in their lives, and we always want to make sure our clients are feeling empowered, safe, and comfortable coming to therapy sessions.
Why You Might Want to Ask for Therapy
First, let’s take a moment to understand why you’re feeling drawn to therapy. Maybe you’re:
- Feeling overwhelmed by anxiety, stress, or sadness.
- Struggling to keep up with school, friendships, or family expectations.
- Dealing with a tough situation like bullying, a big change, or conflict at home.
- Curious about therapy because you want a safe space to share your feelings and figure things out.
Whatever your reason is, it’s valid. Therapy is a great way to learn more about yourself and build tools to handle life’s challenges. Starting the process of getting to know yourself on a deeper level offers life-long opportunities for growth and development, and can help teens gain clarity around their inner world and their future goals. It is also incredibly healing for teens to attend therapy when their parents have been really stressed and not very available at home as they really benefit from undivided attention from a compassionate adult during this huge transition period.
How Do I Ask My Mom For Therapy?
Talking to your mom, dad or loved one about therapy doesn’t have to be perfect—it just needs to happen. Here’s a step-by-step guide to make it a little easier:
1. Find the Right Time to Talk
Timing matters. Try to pick a moment when your parent or caregiver is calm, not distracted, and has time to listen. For example, you might bring it up after dinner, during a car ride, or when you’re spending one-on-one time together. The important part of this is that you are not distracted by strong emotions or the world around you.
2. Start With Your Feelings
Let your parent or caregiver know how you’re feeling in a way that’s honest but not overwhelming. You could say something like:
- “I’ve been feeling really anxious/stressed/sad lately, and I think talking to someone could help.”
- “I’ve been struggling with some things, and I’d like to get support from a therapist.”
Starting the conversation by sharing what’s going on in your inner world helps to take the focus off of the parent and keeps it on the most important piece to the puzzle – your well-being. This can help ease your parent’s fears around not being a good enough parent, which can trigger them to feel defensive about what has caused you to be seeking support outside of the family.
3. Explain Why You Want Therapy
Your mom, dad or loved one might have questions, and that’s okay. They hopefully are wanting the best for you and this may bring up concerns about your mental health and well-being. Explain that therapy is a place where you can talk about things openly with someone who’s trained to help. Therapy offers space for teens and preteens to share without needing to feel bad, and it’s always a good idea to ask for support when you are needing help. You could add:
- “I think therapy could help me understand my feelings better and figure out ways to deal with them.”
- “It’s not because I don’t want to talk to you—I just think having someone neutral could really help.”
4. Offer Reassurance
Some parents worry about therapy because they think it means something is “wrong.” Let your mom, dad or loved one know that therapy is about growth and support, not blame. They understandably may have some concerns that you are going through something that they would like to know about. It can be helpful to let your parents know when talking about starting therapy that you want to keep them in the loop and they are welcome to be a part of the process as well. Our team of therapists at Attuned Therapy + Wellness provide family therapy sessions that support teens and parents to learn how to communicate with each other in respectful, compassionate ways. You could try sharing something like:
- “It’s not that you’re doing anything wrong—I just want some extra help with what I’m feeling.”
- “My mental health impacts everything in my life. I want to prioritize it so I can succeed at school and at home.”
5. Be Patient and Open to Questions
Your parent or caregiver may have a positive response right away. Alternatively, they might have more questions or need time to think about it. They might want to be a part of the process of finding the best therapist to support you. They hopefully are supportive of your decision to better yourself through attending therapy, though they may have lived experiences or beliefs surrounding mental health and psychology that may make it hard for them to understand or be supportive. This can be hard for everyone involved, and our team seeks to support everyone in the family to make sure that therapy feels like a safe space to grow and thrive together. Sometimes parents can be fearful of what a therapist may suggest about them as parents. We are collaborative partners, acknowledging that it takes a lot of courage to open up about hard topics that have been swept under the rug for a long time. However, therapy offers a safe space to process hard experiences for all members of the family so that they can move forward with hope for a future that doesn’t feel heavy. When navigating this, please try staying calm with your parent, explaining your perspective the best you can. If your parent is having a hard time hearing you, this can bring up some anger and frustration, which is understandable. Sometimes taking some time to pause and to try again at a later time feels best.
What to Do If the Conversation Doesn’t Go as Planned
Not every parent reacts positively to the idea of therapy at first. If your parent or guardian seems unsure, here are some tips:
1. Stay Calm
If they are not supportive of your decision, aren’t willing to drive you or pay for the sessions and submit to insurance, don’t panic. Sometimes parents need time to process the idea. Try letting them know you’re serious about wanting to try this approach to feeling better and that you are willing to talk more later. It can be hard for parents to acknowledge that their kids need help outside of them, but ultimately it is often the best approach when there are really hard life experiences involved.
2. Provide Resources
If your parent, guardian or loved one has concerns, you can share articles or websites that explain the benefits of therapy for teens. You could mention that lots of teens go to therapy to work on things like stress or self-confidence. Perhaps you know of some people in your circle that have had positive experiences with therapy that have helped you decide to take this step. Sharing this with your parents may help them feel more at ease knowing that it isn’t just you or your family accessing available supports. Some families are hesitant to connect to resources in their community due to prior negative experiences. They may also be unaware of what is available to help them and their children, so if you are aware of these resources it can be really helpful to let your parents know about them.
3. Talk to Another Trusted Adult
If your mom, dad, or caregiver isn’t ready to support the idea of therapy, consider reaching out to another trusted adult, like a teacher, school counselor, or family member. They might be able to help you access available resources or find alternative ways to access mental health supports in your community. You may also wish to reach out directly to our team, which you are welcome to do so. Together, we can support your family in finding the best path forward, ensuring that everyone in the family feels respected and at the same time prioritizing your right to access quality health services. If it feels impossible right now as a teen or preteen to access therapy support, you may be able to connect with the school counsellor at least, or find an online support group. There are many different options that we can support you to access depending on your needs.
4. Keep the Door Open
Sometimes parents just need time. Even if they aren’t on board right away, let them know you’d like to revisit the conversation in the future. Alternatively, you can always reach back out once you have your own independence and can attend therapy without your parents’ involvement. Again, it is always best to include your parents and to have them on our team, and being supported by therapy themselves. We need to acknowledge that everyone has different healing journeys and sometimes our parents need some extra time to self-reflect and decide that talk therapy offers some positive opportunities for both kids and adults alike.
Why Therapy Can Be Life-Changing for Teens and Preteens
Therapy isn’t just for people going through major problems—it’s for anyone who wants to better understand themselves and feel more supported. Here’s what therapy can help with:
- Managing anxiety, stress, or sadness.
- Building confidence and self-esteem.
- Handling peer pressure, bullying, or social challenges.
- Improving family communication and relationships.
- Navigating big changes, like a move or a new school.
- Managing skills like cleanliness, school performance, and building independence.
Therapy is like having a safe space where you can share your thoughts without judgment and learn tools to make life a little easier. It also provides a soft landing zone when challenging experiences happen during your teen years. It’s nice to know that you have somewhere to share all the hard stuff without fear of being reprimanded or of upsetting a parent. Of course it is also important to note that if there are major issues that may result in risk to your life or the life of others, as therapists we are required to make the steps necessary to keep everyone involved safe. In the case of teen clients, this may involve including your parents or additional members of the health team. This is done with the client’s consent whenever possible as we know how important it is to maintain your privacy and confidentiality during our time together.
Virtual Therapy for Teens in Ontario, Canada
If you’re in Ontario and wondering to yourself “how do I ask my mom For therapy?”, virtual sessions might be a great fit. With virtual therapy, you can talk to a therapist from the comfort of your own home—no commuting, no waiting rooms, just a private space to focus on you. It may feel positive to have your therapy session in your own room, where there is a sense of safety and security. Alternatively, some teens and preteens prefer in-person therapy at our Kincardine, Ontario therapy office. We support you in whichever choice you prefer, as our priority is in supporting you to be comfortable.
At Attuned Therapy, our team supports teens and preteens navigate challenges like perfectionism, anxiety, and stress. We work with clients across Ontario, creating a safe, supportive space to help you feel seen, heard, and understood.
Take the First Step Today
Asking for therapy can feel scary, but it’s one of the bravest steps you can take toward taking care of yourself. When you’re ready, start the conversation with your mom—or another trusted adult—and let them know how important this is to you.
And if you’re in Ontario and ready to explore therapy, we would love to help. Contact us today using our online booking form and we will arrange a session as soon as we can with your schedule in mind.
You deserve support. You deserve to feel better. And you don’t have to do it alone. 💛
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