Are you in search of a child therapist in Kincardine, Ontario? Here at Attuned Therapy + Wellness, we offer therapy for children ages 6 and older. We focus on therapy that offers both integration through play-based approaches, gentle trauma approaches and talk-therapy based in the IFS approach. In this article, I will share more about our child therapy approaches and what to expect when working with me as a child therapist at our office in Kincardine, Ontario.

What to Know Before Working With a Child Therapist in Kincardine, Ontario

When our kids need help with stress or a significant life event, it can be hard to know who or what to turn to. This is especially true if we ourselves have never been to therapy before. Therapy can feel daunting for both children and adults alike, and I don’t blame anyone who is hesitant the first time. It can feel extremely scary opening up to another human being that we have never met. The important thing to remember is that therapy is all about confidentiality and trust. I never tell anyone else what happens during a client session, unless agreed upon by the child. This is talked about during our first initial intake session because sometimes this can be misunderstood by parents.

Child Consent & Confidentiality

When it comes to age of consent for children and youth, it is important to note that there is no age in which all kids can consent on their own in Ontario. Instead, consent is based upon their capacity to understand and to agree to attend therapy. This means that any child or teen that attends therapy, needs to understand what therapy is, and what it is that they are going to be doing with the therapy. If they are capable of understanding this in an age appropriate way, then they can consent or not consent to treatment without a parent. What does this mean for parents, then? It means that parents do not automatically become the health custodians for the child/teen’s notes or to receive updates about their children’s sessions. Unless there is a risk of immediate harm to the client or to someone else because of the client, the therapist must maintain client confidentiality. This ensures that the client-therapist relationship is therapeutic and supportive. Any breach in this contract could ultimately result in a rupture in the relationship and cause the client to not trust the therapist, reducing the efficacy of healing work together. It is also important to note that children cannot be forced to talk to a therapist, and must be willing to share their thoughts and feelings in order to participate in our therapy. If they are not willing to come to session, it is often best to have the parent attend therapy sessions instead.

Parental Separation and Divorce Considerations

Another key consideration when working with a child therapist in Kincardine, Ontario at our Attuned Therapy + Wellness office is that in cases of separation and divorce, we ask that both parents provide their agreeance to have their child attend therapy. Consent and agreements can be complex in the case of shared custody because court systems are not black-and-white, based upon judgments. In general, if the child is too young to consent on their own, we require the parent to do so instead. However, when the parents are no longer together, they must both consent unless there is a sole custody agreement. If a child attends therapy without one parent’s consent, it would be possible for that parent to take the other parent back to court for not following the court order. This can result in further trauma for the client, and as a therapist, I always want to do as little harm as possible to the children and families I work with. For this reason, I ask that all split families provide an agreement from both parents to have their child attend therapy for any child under the age of 14 or any youth incapable of consenting to treatment.

Treatment Style and Effectiveness in Reducing Parenting Challenges

Most often when we are bringing our children to therapy, there is a cause. We notice that our children are struggling either through their words or their behaviours. When we learn that our kids are struggling, we try to support them through whatever it is they are going through. If we are unable to do so ourselves, we seek support from professionals trained to work with our kids. So it only appears to make sense that when we bring our kids to therapy, we are looking to have a reduction in whatever it is our child was struggling with, right?

Internal Family Systems

The primary modality I use is called Internal Family Systems. The basic premise of this type of therapy is that the client is the expert of their own system, and that therapy must be client-led. This means that myself as a therapist is focused on following the client’s lead, and I bring this into my child therapy sessions. When we are playing a board game or painting rocks or creating with clay, I am always assessing the client and getting to know their system. Are they hesitant to offer their own input into the game? Do they want to help the therapist clean up after, or do they avoid this? Are they choosing to play it safe, or are they excited to smash down the Jenga blocks and have a chance to make as much noise as possible? The therapy that I offer is always one step behind the client, allowing them to tell their story without having to share it all with words. Of course, when we want to speak, there is ample time to do that as well, and following the client’s lead is important when they open up this way as well.

This type of therapy doesn’t always result in significant change in behaviour. This is okay with me, because behaviour helps us cope with the world around us. However, I do ensure that my clients always feel safe in our therapy space, and this safety allows the client to naturally process their trauma and allows them to get to know themselves and gain confidence.

If we are seeking to reduce behaviours in child clients, then we often need to look at the environment and the family system. This requires parental involvement and planning together. So sometimes I will request that a parent attends therapy either with the client or alone, so that we can build upon the client’s skills and capacities to cope when stress comes. We also often will work with parents in their own therapy at the same time, which can be very healing for the children just as much as for the adult attending therapy. This is because the parents set the tone in the household, and if the parents are feeling overwhelmed/stressed/angry/depressed/anxious then the children will feel this energy and react accordingly. This is inevitable for most households because of the amount of drama we must endure in our day-to-day lives. Building meditation skills and capacities to hold space for ourselves as parents can allow us to feel more at ease with this drama, and recognize we have choice in how we respond. When looking for a child therapist in Kincardine, Ontario, we sometimes also realize that we could use some therapy ourselves. Our team is here to support your whole family.

Brainspotting Therapy

In addition to Internal Family Systems therapy, I also incorporate Brainspotting Therapy into my child sessions only if there is an indication to do so. Brainspotting in a type of therapy similar to EMDR, which allows the brain to process trauma and lived experiences without having to relive it. It focuses on eye gaze and bodily sensations connected to the emotional reaction to an event or situation. In child therapy, I use a pointer with a little dinosaur attached to help the child hold their gaze at a specific spot, and then count to ten. Children are capable of processing events much quicker than adults because they have more neuronal networks available. Building new pathways is simple when we are in the process of building new neural connections by the hundreds each and every day. Sometimes this results in some strong emotional reactions during the therapy session. The great news is that these emotions are always temporary, and it can be very healing to be able to have these emotions with the therapist in which a safe, trusting relationship has been well established. The brainspotting therapy is only used when the client leads the therapist to use it directly, and because of this, the therapist is not always able to ask the parent for consent prior to the session. If this approach is not something that the parent is wanting for their child, it is important that this is discussed prior to beginning therapy. If you would like to learn more about brainspotting therapy, you can learn more HERE.

Relational Attunement Therapy

The final approach that I always integrate into therapy sessions with kids and youth (and adults too!) is my relational attunement therapy approach. This approach is focused on being fully present and attuned to my clients, holding space for them and accepting the client as they are. This attunement is what we often are seeking in all of our relationships. When we receive it unconditionally, we are finally able to rest in our being, reducing any fight or flight symptoms and learning how to feel connected with the world around us. This is very simple, and yet is very complex at the same time. We must remain fully open and aware of how we typically react when children or youth speak to us. Rather than automatically reacting in this way, we are able to instead ask more questions to learn about their life journey and why it is they are the way that they are. This is how it feels to be fully understood by another human being, and when we are understood, we are perfectly imperfect just the way we are. This approach is something that can be worked on at home as well. If you are interested in learning more about offering this attunement to your child or youth, let me know during our intake and we can arrange for some parent sessions in addition to child therapy. Ultimately, the goal of therapy is to shift the relationship back to the parents, so if you are open to having relational attunement sessions yourself, you can speed up this process so that you can repair your relationships and offer attuned presence for your kids at home. You can learn more about relational attunement therapy HERE.

Are You Interested in Booking Your Child in For Child Therapy in Kincardine, Ontario?

Therapy sessions for kids and youth are available here at Attuned Therapy + Wellness. Online booking is the easiest way to book your child in. You are also welcome to send us an email at admin@attunedtherapy.ca if you have any questions or concerns prior to the appointment time. You can book your child’s session HERE. Adult therapy is also available both with me, Tori Hamilton, RN Psychotherapist and Jodie Ellenor, MSW, RSW. Jodie has experience working with families of all ages and focuses on adult therapy, functional medicine and breathwork.