Internal Family Systems Therapy
Internal family systems (IFS) therapy available in our wellness studio in Kincardine, Ontario and online. IFS-informed therapy provides clients with a way to process past lived experiences, fully releasing themselves from the burdens they have been carrying.
Internal Family Systems Therapy is the Easiest Way to Let Go and Move Forward
When we are children, we learn ways to cope. Our family was busy, overwhelming, and impossible to relax in. Another possibility is that there were too few interactions, causing you to feel lonely or abandoned. In either case, we have to develop ways to survive. Sometimes we notice that we can make ourselves feel better through using drugs or alcohol. Other times we find that we need to prove ourselves by getting straight A’s in school in order to be seen. Another way we can cope is through becoming whatever others wanted you to become, resulting in you losing any sense of identity.
When we begin to start connecting with those young parts of us that have been working so hard to survive, we can give ourselves the love and support we didn’t receive growing up. This is how we let go of our childhood wounds – by being present to those parts of us that felt angry, sad, overwhelmed, guilty, shameful, and jealous. When we offer those parts kindness and compassion, they lose their need to manage and protect. Instead, parts of us trying to survive can begin to relax and enjoy the things they wish they could have enjoyed growing up.
You Don’t Have to Be Understood, You Just Need to Be Loved
When we decide to be open with ourselves, we can begin to see ourselves through the eyes of our child-self. As adults, it can be hard to truly empathize with what we went through as children, which keeps us stuck as adults in our child-self’s coping mechanisms. When we create a way to witness our child-self, we allow our adult-self to become fully healed. All we need to do using IFS therapy is to be open and curious. Our child-parts will guide us to the places in our mind we need to go. Internal family systems therapy is a model that was created by Richard Schwartz while he was working with highly dysfunctional families as a marriage and family therapist. He began to notice that the thoughts that come up in our minds take on very similar constructs as a family system. We can have a part of us that is almost exactly like our father, one like our mother, one like our sibling, and so on. We have parts that work hard to protect us by managing our lives (a perfectionist part, a controlling part, a part that loves structure). We also have parts that protect us by fighting fires with coping mechanisms that are considered unhealthy – extreme anger, addictions, being abusive, and showing family our best impression of a cat. Finally, we can have parts of us that are hidden underneath a lot of coping, wanting to not be seen because they don’t think anyone will love them. When we are able to offer those parts our loving presence rather than judgment or dismissiveness, they can become fully healed and never need to hide again.
Frequently Asked Questions About Internal Family Systems Therapy
Does Internal Family Systems Require A Lot of Painful Re-Experiencing?
In short, no. Internal family systems therapy doesn’t require clients to re-experience all of their painful memories. What it focuses on is being present for ourselves while going through difficult things. The emotions felt are not from reliving, but rather the pain felt when realizing that you didn’t get what you deserved. It is very good to express our emotions. We need to grieve our childhoods, because the majority of us didn’t get the emotional support we needed.
Is it Normal to Need Other Therapy Before Starting Internal Family Systems?
In short, yes. In order to be fully present for those young parts of us, we first need to feel safe and regulated. It is important that we make sure we are listening to our mind and body throughout therapy, and we don’t push past protectors. It can be helpful to do some trauma processing done before starting IFS therapy, such as brainspotting, rapid resolution therapy, EMDR therapy, or hypnosis. These modalities allow clients to let go of painful memories without having to re-experience them. That allows the client to feel more at peace in the present, and more capable of healing.
FAQ
How long are therapy sessions?
Each session is 60-minutes in length. The intention of our sessions is based upon what you would like to focus our time together on.
How much are therapy sessions per hour?
The hourly rate for therapy sessions is $150/hour, no HST.
Do you take insurance?
After payment is received, an email with a receipt will be sent. You can submit your receipt for private insurance coverage. Coverage is dependent on your employer or union’s insurance plan and the professional designations of your therapist. Please consider calling to confirm with your insurance company before booking your first session to avoid any disappointment.
If you do not have insurance or your company does not cover our sessions, you can save
the receipts and submit as a health expense at tax time.
What therapeutic modalities do you use?
Our approach with couple’s therapy is based on the IFS model for couple’s therapy, called “Intimacy from the Inside Out.” It is based on supporting couples to come together to feel more calm, connected, and curious in their relationship. My primary training in psychotherapy is Compassionate Inquiry, a year-long psychotherapeutic approach that integrates parts work, polyvagal theory, somatics and psychodynamics. This means that together we will be looking at how your body feels, how your mind thinks, what emotions you have, what you believe about yourself & the world, and how your nervous system responds.
Do you work with children?
Yes, we also work with children and youth, ages 6+. We incorporate play into our sessions as needed, as well as gentle trauma processing approaches, nervous system regulation strategies, and relational.
Where do I book a session?
When you’re ready, you can send me an email through our Contact page, or you can book your free 15-minute discovery call on our booking page.
